Jinxed

The mind's subconscious way of increasing the probability of a desired happening is to anticipate the possible disappointing outcomes. Or it is probably to mentally ready the self. The more the result pondered about, higher chances of the opposite occuring. Works that way. The thought process has to initiate naturally though, not with pre planned intentions to avoid the unpleasant. Yet there is utter disbelief as the unahappy ending unflolds following the jittery wait. Tears sting. The void seems bigger. Darkness pricks, penetrates and widens the emptiness. Figuratively, the heart pains. Till it dies, feels like the unscrupulous, conspiring world does not deserve one's honest toil. Still we forget, we hope, we trust, we venture. Because, when initial set backs are forgotten and great efforts lead to the hard earned-dream come true, it is ecstasy. Pure ecstasy.